You think it is withholding?
First, you can’t withhold something that you are not entitled too in the first place.
But out of curiosity when was the last time you went out of your way and made your wife want to have sex, instead of just expecting. You can’t only treat your spouse like a wife when you want to get laid. You criticize women for treating it like a chore, after you make it feel like one.
Did you walk by a sink full of dishes on your way to throw your dirty laundry on the floor? Did you think about what went into that dinner you ate, but didn’t have to clean up after?
Because you have to understand it is very difficult to be attracted to someone who makes you feel nonexistent.
You watched me clean up after the boys, and take out the trash; but did you ask if I needed help? Did you ever think that I am tired from working all day, just like you; but my job doesn’t end when my computer goes off. Or maybe I am exhausted from raising toddlers all day or maybe I really just do have a raging headache. But you didn’t think of any of that, because you wanted to put your own desires above my emotional wellbeing.
I am tired of being treated like a roommate with the benefit of maid service, and then expect me to be your porn star on-demand. You can’t label intimacy as a wifely duty if you are not upholding your responsibilities as a husband.
So maybe stop viewing it as a punishment and start looking at it as evidence of a problem.